coming back from Greece with a blank page and entering the community with more humbleness created a different experience. When Nora and I came back to Kucukkuyu, having done away with our previous plans of completing a business plan for the learning center we wanted to co-create, the priority was strengthening relationships in the community. Now, with no ambition of a learning center, I just wanted open up to experience being in this community, being with people, understanding social and economic dynamics and so on.
My greatest challenge then was (and still is) having no income. Well I do embrace “my greatest learning is where my greatest challenge is” thinking, yet this is still a difficult experiment for me. I took it as an experiment, a natural extension of nothing-ness experience in which I try to be consciously. If I decided that this is a period of “being” in a certain life situation, being with people, being as it is, I try to respect that. So it isn’t only about income and money but also approaching “doing” with awareness. My whole life I have not done any work only for material wealth but now I take it one step further and do not take any work which doesn’t serve life and community and wait until I move from the center which then also create a flow of income.
What were the learnings?
First of all, it isn’t as scary as I thought it would be. Certainly I feel limited at times but there is no life threatening situation.
I had to be aware of my self-image and self-perception and how the ego translates this situation into self-degradation. I experienced some self-resentment about “not doing, not being productive, not trying desperately to make money” when I had no income at all. This notion of productivity is quite interesting: Let’s say I would be working in the garden with friends, writing an article, teaching English to a young friend or drawing and my mind would still be shouting “c’mon, what are you doing, you should be doing something real and making money!” Indeed I was doing real stuff, right? Growing food, expressing myself through drawing and writing, studying with a young person, building relationships in the community…? What’s more real? The mind was not happy…It was noteworthy to observe my own conditioning about what productive means, and in relation with that what successful means. It takes some nerve to let go of self-conditioning for the conventional definition of success of the modern world, or to unlearn the mindset that allows the dominant system dictate one’s self-worth according to one’s compliance to its rules. One’s true freedom depends on freeing one’s mind from these very subtle and deep conditionings…
There are some very positive sides to living with almost no money. Certainly simplifies one’s life. My consumption has gone nearly flat and I only purchase what I truly need, not more than that. I inquire other ways of fulfilling needs rather than buying something. Before I purchase anything, there is a whole conscious thought process now: do I really need it? Do I already have something that can fulfill the same need? Can I borrow it from someone? Can I exchange it with something else? And I don’t go through this process with resentment; I appreciate this opportunity of consumption with awareness practice. Also, this encourages me to get in relationship with people in a different way. When we take money out of the way, the easy and superficial way of exchange, a more complicated yet a more “relationship based” exchange takes place. I remember Shammi’s wonderful, wonderful way of relating to people in Greece by offering them his own making earrings or paper baskets and the smile in people’s faces worth much more than money can buy. The small gestures of kindness, the human exchange surpasses the power of money in authentic human relationships. (Thank you Shammi for showing me that!) how sad money makes us so lazy, it removes the space where people can interact for their livelihood. With no money in hand, I too had to make an effort to relate to people, be with them in their living situation rather than choosing my own comfort, offer what I can offer to those who hosted me at times.
Another interesting experience or experiment was initiating a community gathering. Right after I came back from Greece, with a desire of real engagement in the community (thanks to our Indian friends from Berkana community) I thought of inviting people for community conversations. I was staying at my friend’s eco-farm-camp and I had a burning question about economy. How, I was thinking (am still thinking), can we create a local, closed, sustainable economy in the area and how can we support each other to achieve that? I had then this urge to share this question with people, so extended an invitation to the community (people we know from Kucukkuyu, villagers, farmers, newcomers (like us)) to gather around the question. Well, why not a potluck I thought, and asked people to bring food, so we can eat together before the conversation. So, weekly potluck gatherings started. I facilitated first two meetings and it was very exciting! It was wonderful to see people coming together, I felt such a joy and inspiration! Out of the local economy conversation came the idea of setting up a local network of exchange, gift and imece (which roughly means solidarity, the community helping out a community member, with harvest, or with building a house, etc…) which I would like to develop and offer to administer initially. However I couldn’t sustain my participation in these gatherings: I had really envisioned it taking off as a community initiative, a dialogue process, which then turned a bit into the property of the eco-farm where we initiated the gatherings. Dialogue turned into presentation of topics by “experts”. That didn’t interest me much. People remained passive. Since I don’t have a place in Kucukkuyu yet, I couldn’t invite people for potluck so it can get out of the ownership of one place/person. Nobody else from the community did. So potluck gatherings are still happening at the same place, with a different nature from my initial intention…
Naturally I was a bit disappointed but then I wasn’t very persistent either. I hope to get back in touch in the fall when I plan to settle down in the area.
I am also thinking other interactive ways of engaging in the community, bringing up vital issues for the local reality; organic farming, water, sustainable energy, etc...I will keep you updated.
My greatest challenge then was (and still is) having no income. Well I do embrace “my greatest learning is where my greatest challenge is” thinking, yet this is still a difficult experiment for me. I took it as an experiment, a natural extension of nothing-ness experience in which I try to be consciously. If I decided that this is a period of “being” in a certain life situation, being with people, being as it is, I try to respect that. So it isn’t only about income and money but also approaching “doing” with awareness. My whole life I have not done any work only for material wealth but now I take it one step further and do not take any work which doesn’t serve life and community and wait until I move from the center which then also create a flow of income.
What were the learnings?
First of all, it isn’t as scary as I thought it would be. Certainly I feel limited at times but there is no life threatening situation.
I had to be aware of my self-image and self-perception and how the ego translates this situation into self-degradation. I experienced some self-resentment about “not doing, not being productive, not trying desperately to make money” when I had no income at all. This notion of productivity is quite interesting: Let’s say I would be working in the garden with friends, writing an article, teaching English to a young friend or drawing and my mind would still be shouting “c’mon, what are you doing, you should be doing something real and making money!” Indeed I was doing real stuff, right? Growing food, expressing myself through drawing and writing, studying with a young person, building relationships in the community…? What’s more real? The mind was not happy…It was noteworthy to observe my own conditioning about what productive means, and in relation with that what successful means. It takes some nerve to let go of self-conditioning for the conventional definition of success of the modern world, or to unlearn the mindset that allows the dominant system dictate one’s self-worth according to one’s compliance to its rules. One’s true freedom depends on freeing one’s mind from these very subtle and deep conditionings…
There are some very positive sides to living with almost no money. Certainly simplifies one’s life. My consumption has gone nearly flat and I only purchase what I truly need, not more than that. I inquire other ways of fulfilling needs rather than buying something. Before I purchase anything, there is a whole conscious thought process now: do I really need it? Do I already have something that can fulfill the same need? Can I borrow it from someone? Can I exchange it with something else? And I don’t go through this process with resentment; I appreciate this opportunity of consumption with awareness practice. Also, this encourages me to get in relationship with people in a different way. When we take money out of the way, the easy and superficial way of exchange, a more complicated yet a more “relationship based” exchange takes place. I remember Shammi’s wonderful, wonderful way of relating to people in Greece by offering them his own making earrings or paper baskets and the smile in people’s faces worth much more than money can buy. The small gestures of kindness, the human exchange surpasses the power of money in authentic human relationships. (Thank you Shammi for showing me that!) how sad money makes us so lazy, it removes the space where people can interact for their livelihood. With no money in hand, I too had to make an effort to relate to people, be with them in their living situation rather than choosing my own comfort, offer what I can offer to those who hosted me at times.
Another interesting experience or experiment was initiating a community gathering. Right after I came back from Greece, with a desire of real engagement in the community (thanks to our Indian friends from Berkana community) I thought of inviting people for community conversations. I was staying at my friend’s eco-farm-camp and I had a burning question about economy. How, I was thinking (am still thinking), can we create a local, closed, sustainable economy in the area and how can we support each other to achieve that? I had then this urge to share this question with people, so extended an invitation to the community (people we know from Kucukkuyu, villagers, farmers, newcomers (like us)) to gather around the question. Well, why not a potluck I thought, and asked people to bring food, so we can eat together before the conversation. So, weekly potluck gatherings started. I facilitated first two meetings and it was very exciting! It was wonderful to see people coming together, I felt such a joy and inspiration! Out of the local economy conversation came the idea of setting up a local network of exchange, gift and imece (which roughly means solidarity, the community helping out a community member, with harvest, or with building a house, etc…) which I would like to develop and offer to administer initially. However I couldn’t sustain my participation in these gatherings: I had really envisioned it taking off as a community initiative, a dialogue process, which then turned a bit into the property of the eco-farm where we initiated the gatherings. Dialogue turned into presentation of topics by “experts”. That didn’t interest me much. People remained passive. Since I don’t have a place in Kucukkuyu yet, I couldn’t invite people for potluck so it can get out of the ownership of one place/person. Nobody else from the community did. So potluck gatherings are still happening at the same place, with a different nature from my initial intention…
Naturally I was a bit disappointed but then I wasn’t very persistent either. I hope to get back in touch in the fall when I plan to settle down in the area.
I am also thinking other interactive ways of engaging in the community, bringing up vital issues for the local reality; organic farming, water, sustainable energy, etc...I will keep you updated.
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