dreamcatcher

As December settles in, and another year's end closes in, combined with my slowed down rhtyhm of life, sometimes trembling sometimes peaceful within, I find myself in a waiting mood. as if something is about to happen. like Alice falling through the rabbit hole, I feel like the falling is coming to an end perhaps and I am about to gently land in the wonderland..

I wrote this poem tonight, in an attempt to express what I'm feeling...

dreamcatcher

waiting waiting waiting
I feel like a snail, withdrawn in my shell,
waiting waiting
waiting waiting
in stillness
waiting for the ocean
to reach out and gently sweep me away,
with no struggle
no heart ache
and I surrender
to this mystery, that rocks me tenderly
in my foundations
waiting waiting
in the twilight of my day and night
of my deserted heart's longing
longing deep and wide
for the ocean of love to burn
this being
transform mind and matter
through the alchemie of love
waiting waiting
tenderly
heart aching for the beloved
irritable and coy outside, impatient
careless about the world
careless about the word

the time is approaching
I take refuge in a timeless container of Self
the storm raging all around
waiting waiting
for this shell to break

then I instinctively turned to the poem "the call" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer from book "the call" which I had earlier today pulled out of my library with a sudden urge...here is the poem:

I have heard it all my life,
A voice calling a name I recognized as my own.
Sometimes it comes as a soft-bellied whisper.
Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency.
But always it says: Wake up, my love. You are walking asleep.
There’s no safety in that!
Remember what you are, and let a deeper knowing
color the shape of your humanness.
There is nowhere to go. What you are looking for is right here.
Open the fist clenched in wanting and see what you already hold in your hand.
There is no waiting for something to happen,
no point in the future to get to.
All you have ever longed for is here in this moment, right now.
You are wearing yourself out with all this searching.
Come home and rest.
How much longer can you live like this?
Your hungry spirit is gaunt, your heart stumbles. All this trying.
Give it up!
Let yourself be one of the God-mad,
faithful only to the Beauty you are.
Let the Lover pull you to your feet and hold you close,
dancing even when fear urges you to sit this one out.
Remember, there is one word you are here to say with your whole being.
When it finds you, give your life to it. Don’t be tight-lipped and stingy.
Spend yourself completely on the saying,
Be one word in this great love poem we are writing together.

now, I am sure you can see the contrast in these poems, it's like a call and response. the alignment made me smile. the dominant sensation that is coloring my state right now is longing, a deep longing for deep connection, companionship, intimacy, love. and as synchronicity continues to flow, I find this quote in Oriah Mountain Dreamer's website. and I smile once again:

There are lovers content with longing.
I’m not one of them.
-Rumi

may the poetry and music of our longing souls fill our circle, more than ever at this time which feels significant for us all, for our tribe and for humanity all together...and may that longing evolve into living all those things we long for...